Crimson red,
Falls from the hand that is dead,
Why the Hell is she on my bed?
Am I losing my head?!
Or was it something I said?


My first shot a poetry alittle short, but that was all I could think of rhyming without making it stupid. Comments, Suggestions, Corrections?

The beat is off and the second line seems out of place. Otherwise a great first whack at it!

Um...5 lines...ok... Well, i'll give you a little leeway since this was ur first poem, but u really need to work more on line structure and the overall message of this piece.

She's dead? And you're confused?
Is that what is means?