Hey. My first time posting fiction here. Any advice/feedback is welcome and appricaited.
As the clouds turned red with the setting sun, Sivan sighed. The huge naga poked around in the large sack, hoping to find more salted fish, but his huge single eye hadn’t lied: besides the small packet he had found on top of the bundle, the rest was the loathsome spuds. Shifting his massive bulk, he began to take them out and count them, one by one. His mind used to this exercise, Sivan realized that it would be a scant few weeks before he and Sprint would have to raid the caravans again…
As his mind turned to the fairy hopper, Sivan thought back to the raid. It started out perfectly, flawlessly. The initial barrage of lightning and energy shots seemed to have knocked out all the zuum guards, and scared the humans into hiding or fleeing. But then that blasted zuum got to it’s feet, shrieked, and ran for help. Sivan remembered cursing and ripping open a wagon, grabbing the first bag he saw, and then trying to grab another. Before he could, Sprint’s shrill cries alerted him. Looking up, he remembered seeing the sun glint off the durahan’s armor, and feeling the growing dread as the living armor pointed it’s sword toward them, sending the deadly hound saurians after the raiders. Sprint had quickly shot off a barrage of crackling lighting, yelling to Sivan to “Go the other way! I’ll lead ‘em on a run around!” Sivan had been about to protest, but realized that staying longer would have endanger both their lives…still, he couldn’t shake the guilt as he had quickly slithered into the jungle foliage.
Shaking his head, Sivan thought about the futility of it all. Every time they raided they skirted closer to death, every escape more chancy then the last. Maybe they should just give up…. A soft, ‘Puu?” jolted him out of his brooding. Turning his single eye to the side, he saw the small form of the baby corone who he cared for. The little worm gaze up at him with its jet-black eyes, soundlessly asking for something to eat. His snake’s head breaking into a smile, Sivan reached into the bag to get out a potato. As the corone saw the tuber, it looked a bit crestfallen, but with a resolute “Puu,” moved to take it. Seeing his little friend’s hunger, Sivan couldn’t help but chuckle. “Don’t want the spud? Can’t say I blame you…here, take this instead.” Sivan delicately opened the package of salted fish, and handed one to the corone. With a surprised squeak, the little worm gravely started munching away. After it finished its meal, the corone sighed, and snuggled up against Sivan’s yellow bulk. Chuckling again, the naga said to himself, “I guess it is worth it.”
By Lisa Shock on Monday, October 9, 2000 - 08:33 pm:
It's a good vignette. Keep writing, it gets easier the more you do it!
By Black Razor on Tuesday, October 10, 2000 - 08:41 am:
Not bad Squid, just sorry you waited so long to write something. We need more writers on the board. I look forward to more of your work. Nice job once again.